the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
