Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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