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Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
