First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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