I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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