I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize