Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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