There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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