Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
