i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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