I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
