quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
