You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
