Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I look better un-naked...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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