listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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