Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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