ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
