I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
