oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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