so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
one two three fourrrrnication!
Fuck appropriateness.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
