nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I could make wine with my vomit
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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