i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize