i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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