S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
