At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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