just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize