i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
