im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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