Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
