Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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