Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Michael Bay diarrhea
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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