Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize