Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
