There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
