and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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