thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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