So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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