Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
