you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
