Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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