we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
