I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
