His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Randomize
