you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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