I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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