You can't special order awesome
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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