If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize