Soap is not a condiment
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
