Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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