woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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