she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
