I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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