I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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