We're like a lot better than the average bears
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
