His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize