He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize