So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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