we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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