no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
