I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
