It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
