My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
