i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
COCAINE IS GR8
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