Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
