Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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