whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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